BVB: Scud vs Uzi Doorman

 

“People say I’m just an assassin because they don’t want to confront that I’m also human”
~Lee Harvey Oswald’s reddit as fuck quote before getting shot lmao

So, what happens when big corporations, advancement in robotic intelligence, and love walk into a world desensitized to violence? Well you get a bunch of interesting characters really, however most interesting may be these two.

Scud! Scudco’s HeartBreaker Series Scud Unit #1373

and Uzi Doorman! The most rambunctious Worker Drone 

It's time for this blog to go full battle bots as we put two mechanical messiahs against each other- oh yeah they’re also like the ones to beat up biblical scale horrors, I know they don’t look the part, but they sure are fit for it. So how about we get a move on before I  end up using all my robot related puns, wordplay, and jokes on a singular blog

Before we begin

What are we including?

“Man, wouldn't it be funny if I included those merch videos for Murder Drones?”
~Me, unknowingly cannonball diving onto a slippery slope

Scud:

Scud: The Disposable Assassin (Original 24 issue comic series)

La Cosa Nostroid #1-9
Scud: Tales from the Vending Machine #1-5

The Drywall and Oswald Show #1-2

Drywall: Unzipped! (Oneshot)

Shi/Cyblade: The Battle for Independents (Oneshot)

Scud: The Disposable Assassin (1997 Sega Saturn game) 

Uzi Doorman:
Murder Drones (Original 8 episode web show)

GlitchX 2023 

(“MURDER DRONES AMA ft. Liam Vickers”) 

(“VOICE ACTOR GAMESHOW hosted by Saberspark”)

Welcome to Glitch Inn!

GlitchX 2024

(“Uzi & N Bumper”)

(“VA Fun Time ft. Michael Kovach, Elise Lovelock, & Lizzie Freeman”)

(“V & J Bumper”)
Uzi & Pomni Are Forced To Run The Marketing Department
Murder Drones but Wholesome

Youtube shorts I can’t be bothered to cross chronicle with the Youtube videos

POV: You're a Glitch character 

Murder Drones True Ending - they all hold an intervention

Cyn has a special message for you 

me tryna listen to a story after asking them to repeat it for the 3rd time

Glitch @ LVL UP EXPO Las Vegas!

SMG4 videos (That I know of)
SMG4: If Mario Was In.... SQUID GAME
Mario Reacts to Spooky Memes but Dies half way through

Mario Reacts To AI Generated Images

SMG4: The Stupid Mario Movie

Mario Plays Mario.exe ft. Luigi
SMG4: How To Train Your Mario

Unlisted/Privated videos (Huge shout out to the Murder Drones Wiki for keeping links to/archives of them):
N Takes His Final Form
N wakes up as a Marketable Figurine

Plush Uzi Wants To Go To Prom…

Murder Drones Training Video
Murder Drones keychains when no one is watching (more so a twitter vid than a unlisted one, but i'll be damned if you think I’m going through all of Glitch’s twitter in order to have found this naturally)
IT CAME FROM COPPER 9!!
Murder Drones Alternate Universe

N Calls Everyone
And this random screenshot from the murder drones wiki that gives us a height for Uzi (with beanie and hair) at 136 cm or about 4’5” (also backed up by this official render of her mugshot)

I’ll be excluding Scud: Industrial Evolution (1997 PC game) however due to me not being able to find a full video of the game (Sorry Scud bros, I’ve failed us in our darkest hour (100% using this one neat magazine ad I found during research though (See: The damn blog))) and also no crossover scaling for either

Background

Scud

“HAPPY HIKU BROTHER TRUCKER!”

It’s the far off year of 2024 (sure) and let’s say you want to take someone out but only have enough dough for a singular gumball? Well Scudco Inc has you covered with their line of disposable assassins called Scuds, for 25 cents you can pop out one of these bad boys from a vending machine and have them go merc somebody, upon killing this target they too also die via self destruction, as the saying goes “No evidence of harm, no foul”. I mean as long as the robot doesn’t figure out everything’s cool right? That’s where our Scud unit comes in, having found out about this design choice, he decided that instead of killing his target- this weird beast thing that lays eggs named Jeff  -he’ll incapacitate her and then do hit jobs to pay the hospital bills so Jeff (and by extension he too) doesn’t die. This would lead to Scud going through prisons, terrorist groups, zombie dinosaurs, a giraffe with a robot’s head, a doomsday werewolf, the user of dark arts known as Ben Franklin, and Jeff, who got out of the hospital. But for all the foes Scud made he also made a good couple of friends, like member of the techno mafia Tony Tastey, weird zipper bag thing Drywall, previous scud unit (and ladies man) Oswald, and last but not least being the fellow assassin Sussudio. Who- while originally just another (albeit more annoying) bounty to Sussuido -Scud fell in love with, who Scud felt like gave his life more meaning, who he sought to protect, someone who made him feel his life could be more than desperate survival, someone who he went on weird cross time and space adventures with via robo horse, someone who he then saw get brutally murdered by twisted angels, and someone who he was willing to blow up himself and the earth for in faux hope that it’ll bring her back. Fast forward 10 years of being inside an egg (in and out of universe) and Scud tried to go through with the plan, only to learn that Jeff’s heart was immortal, and as long Jeff’s heart was beating Scud could never complete his original mission and finally self-destruct. There was only one thing Scud could do, give up wage a full assault on heaven, free God from his chains, and insert Jeff’s immortal heart into Sussuido’s corpse to bring her back to life. After all was said and done, Scud could finally rest, as he and Sussuido bask in each other’s love on the clouds of heaven forevermore. Most wild cowboy tale since Pecos Bill

(Shout out to the 6 people who’ve read Scud before this blog I bet that last sentence felt kinda neat)

Uzi Doorman

“BITE ME!”

Humanity had done it, they were making strides in galaxy wide colonization (Thanks SCJohnson JCJeson), and with fancy little worker drones to help with manual labor, I mean look at Copper-9, that's basically just Earth all but in its location among the stars. So Copper-9 blew up. While every human were left as iced over skeletons the drones were left unharmed and decided to break from the shackles mankind bounded them by, they lived their own lives now, they made their own decisions, they were to be who they wanted to be not who someone else wanted them to be, VIVA LA REVOLUTION! Then somebody just went and sent murder drones (sounds like a neat title for a show or something) and made the worker drones go into hiding, and if anyone hates revolutions no longer long living it'd be the angsty gamer weeb (and this story’s hero) Uzi. And if there was anyone who didn’t like Uzi at all, it'd be basically everyone in her life. I mean when your dad is running whole presentations on why he doesn’t love you and nobody bats an eye that's how you know shits bad. Like at that point I’d also start telling everyone they can screw off too. However her rebellious nature meant she wasn’t going to let those dang ol’ murder drones suppress and kill her people forever, she was going to handle them personally. And she was given a chance to do so when she encountered one (Named N) while finding a power core for her rail gun, and proceeded to blow that murder drone’s heads to smithereens, N and Uzi would later fall in love. Oh also that interaction would lead to Uzi discovering a lot, like that murder drones weren’t actually murder drones but instead worker drones that an eldritch computer glitch called the Absolute Solver and its host Cyn modified and sent out to bring galactic armageddon, even hoping to find more drones capable of hosting the Absolute Solver’s power, and Uzi discovered she was one them as well thanks to her mom who was experimented on so humans could try and understand the Absolute Solver, it ended up being what caused Copper-9 to blow up (dw her mom lived, as a weird little flesh slug heart but still). And when it was time for Uzi to fight Cyn in a duel of Absolute solvers Uzi enlisted the one skill she had mastered far before ever learning any of this, a skill that she embraced and practiced all throughout her life, being herself, the Absolute Solver didn’t control her she controlled it. Even if her social status didn’t improve that much after basically saving the entire cosmos she couldn’t care less, she was herself, and shouldn’t that be what life’s about, living it? 

(Bob vs blogs does not take any responsibility for any AdolfEpistein3245s taking that lesson to heart)

Equipment 

Scud

Guns

While Scud is most known for dual wielding pistols he has loads more guns of all types, ammo, and sometimes functions

-Weird looking pistols (Scud#3)
-A pistol with two holes for shooting (Scud#1)

-A pistol + silencer (Scud#6)

-Hank Gritt’s pistol (Scud#8)

-Designer guns (Scud#12), the triple hole gun seemingly able to select which hole actually fires (Scud#15)

-Tommy Gun (Scud#9)

-Shotgun (Scud#18)

-Sniper rifle (Scud#2)

-Gun that shoots out small misles (Scud#9)

-A giant four barrel machine gun (Scud#3)

-Laser Gun: a giant laser gun which lasers can slice to through all types of flesh and metal (Scud#3)

-Damnation Gun: A gun that sends you to hell, though it doesn’t work on anyone without any afterlife to be dammed to,it also works on those already in/from an afterlife like angels (Scud#20). It can damn individual body parts (Scud#24). Even has smaller versions of the weapon (Scud#24), though it's through this we learn the gun does in fact run a limited pool of ammunition, whatever that may be (Scud#24)

-Quarters: Can use them to hold in the triggers to let the guns start auto firing (Scud#3)

-These gun’s bullets can even shoot through astronaut glass (Scud#10)

Motorcycle

-Hell yeah (Scud#2)

Tastey Mob Car

-HELL YEAH (Scud#6)

Little Airplane

-Yeah, it flies and seats one (Scud#3)

Warplane

-A war plane stolen from Ben Franklin it can fire gun shots (like it's some sort of warplane) (Scud#15)

Ram Star

A giant robot afforded to him by the mob in Scud#4

-Has an autopilot function (LCN#1)
-Able to make a trip from Hawaii to Wisconsin in a couple of minutes (1) (2) (LCN#1)

-Can survive volcano lava (LCN#5)

Medieval Gear

From the trip to a fantasy land in Scud#17

-A crossbow 

-But more importantly is the magic ring Scud gains that can turn him giant from wearing it

-Also we can see a sword, we never see Scud use it but it's there

Scud Sega Saturn power ups

-A laser power up that temporarily replaces Scud’s pistol bullets with light blue lasers

-Health pick up that heals about 1/4th of Scud’s health

-Airplane turrets(?) seemingly makes scud temporarily fire stronger shots (uncertain)

Misc

-Lip sync device that makes mouth movements for whatever Scud says because he has no mouth but can still scream (Scud#16)

-A night disguise for camouflage (Scud#2)

-Hank Gritt’s rope (Scud#8)

-Brass knuckle claws for wall climbing (Scud#2)

-A space suit that can withstand 800 degrees celsius (Scud#10)

-Backwards cap and nunchucks (Scud#9)

-Nerve gas (Scud#2)

-Zip armor (Scud#22)

Uzi Doorman

Rail Gun

-A school project that is supposedly a “magnetically amplified photon converger” idk I’m not smart enough for this, what I am smart enough to know however is that this railgun can fire powerful shots (enough to disintegrate a robot’s head), at the cost of needing 30 minutes recharge time (MDE1) 

Absolute Solver appendages 

Unconditional Clarifier Additions 

-Wings for flying, yeah? (MDE7)

-Tail thats a biter, a puppet (MDE4), a flashlight (MDE6), gun wielder, and new home for Cyn (MDE8)
“That's actually the solver who’s in that tail”
-You [REDACTED]

-On that note, upon absorbing Cyn she also gained 3 tentacles on her back (MDE8)

-While possessed by Cyn Uzi also sprouted four sharp spider like appendages on her back (MDE7) 

Core

Don’t worry about that screencap, she’s fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

-It’s shown they’re able to use abilities their full drone bodies can use and be capable fighters (MDE8)

-Though cores can be made extremely sluggish by heat, like the heat from inside a oven (MDE6)

-But Uzi’s core (or tail’s core?) may now be a black hole in part to absorbing Cyn in the series finale? (See: Before the Verdict) 

Misc

-Remote that turns her and N into keychains and nothing else, it is beyond useless (N Takes His Final Form)

-Big as hell backpack (MDE4)
-Weird little circular pads she used to trade with/get inside the minds of other robots (MDE2) (MDE5). The latter function does seem to require a computer setup and good internet to use properly (MDE5)

-Pickaxe (MDE8)

Strength

Scud

-Cracked glass (Scud#1) (Scud#2)

-Tackled a man through a glass pane (Scud#2)

-Crushed a canine’s skull (Scud#2)

-Kicked away a wheel on chain (Scud#3)

-Casually holds up a giant toaster (Scud#2)

-Foot dived a car (1) (2) (Scud#6)

-Severely dented a Scud unit (Scud#22) (See: Scud’s durability for reference)

Uzi Doorman

-Cracked glass (MDE1)

-Caused an explosion the size of a marketable plushie (0:33 Plush Uzi Wants To Go To Prom…), and as a crow ran into a Cyn figurine, V figurine, and V so hard they exploded (Murder Drones Alternate Universe)

-Threw a book hard enough to knock down a fellow drone (MDE3)

-Bent wrenches one handed (MDE1)

-Ate a fucking mini black hole (MDE8) (6 Zettatons, Small Planet level)

Since we’re here already I guess it's time to just dump a bunch of Murder Drones black hole calcs 

(See: Uzi’s H.A.T. section/Uzi’s scaling)

-Episode 7 black hole (345 Yottatons, Large Planet level)
-The other episode 8 black hole (5 Ronnatons, Large Planet level)
-Episode 6 black hole (41 Gigafoe, Solar System level)

Speed

Scud

-Can run up walls (Scud#6)

-Dodged missiles (Scud#22)

-Shoot down weird balls of electricity (Scud Sega Saturn)

-Gun down and dodge asteroids (Scud Sega Saturn) (The manual calls them asteroids)

-Dodged lasers (Scud#8) (Scud#9) (Scud#22)

Uzi Doorman

-Caught an arrow (MDE4)

-Caught a bullet (MDE3)

-Threw a black hole so fast it went through a planet within less than a second (MDE8)

-Dodged light (MDE1) 

Durability

Scud

-Survived his voodoo doll getting mangled (pictured) (Scud#15)

-Unaffected by barrage of arrows (Scud#17)

-Survived being squeezed by tentacles (Scud#1)

-Survived a giant werewolf chomping down on him (Scud#11)

-Survived point blank gun fire (Scud#2) (Scud#3) (Scud#18) (Scud#22)

-Survived getting smacked by a excavator claw (Scud#1)

-Survived getting bashed into the ground (Scud#3)

-Survived getting punched with a safe (Scud#22)

-Survived a semi-truck running him over (Scud#18)

-Survived a triceratops zombie corpse ramming into him and off a building (Scud#4)

-Survived getting smacked around by Cyber Apes (Scud#3)

-Survived getting slammed by a racist joke novelty van (Scud#8)

-Survived driving a semi off a cliff into a 12 mile drop (1) (2) (3) (Scud#3)

-Survived a drop from earth’s surface to earth’s core (Scud#22)

-Survived a drop from space (Scud Sega Saturn)

-Okay so basically his arm was able to survive intaking power that claimed to be able to “devour” solar systems, but also Scud’s arm survived being in that black hole, it having eclipsed the moon and eventually became a similar size as Venus (Scud#11) (1 Terafoe, Solar System level) (See: Scud’s H.A.T. section (no really))

-Survived taking hits from a Sol Scud, who is advertised as being 4x stronger/10x as powerful than Scud (Scud#5) (See: Scud’s strength for ref- hey wait a minute (See: Before the Verdict))

Uzi Doorman

-Survived getting stabbed (MDE1), once shrugging off a knife the size of her hand stabbing her- well -hand (MDE3)

-Survived getting ran over (Murder Drones True Ending short)

-Survived her railgun blowing a fuse hard enough to bend a metal door (MDE1)

-Survived this elevator crash (MDE6)

-Survived this fall from the clouds (MDE4)

-Technically was used as a battering ram to but a hole in the ceiling here (MDE1)

-Survived a spaceship exploding (MDE8)
-Survived this explosion which split the clouds (MDE7)

-Might’ve been inside the other episode 8 black hole as mentioned in Uzi’s strength section (Debatable) 

Scaling

Scud

-Tony tossed a man over a ledge (Scud#18/LCN#8) and dodged gun fire (LCN#2)

-Caught a stop sign and threw it hard enough to iImpale Pavlov, Pavlov having easily torn through cars (Scud#6)

-Joey survived crashing a car through a billboard and into a stone wall (1) (2) (LCN#3)

-Sussudio survived falling a great distance into glass and landing on a water fountain (Scud#13), broke skulls (Scud#17), she also kicked the shit out of Skayel who bashed through stone walls (Scud#17). Sussudio also have dodged bullets (Scud#20)

-Can violently beat up (Scud#22) and also  took hits from Jeff, who lifted up the exterior of a bar (Scud#8) and also jumped so hard as to terraform the ground below her (Scud#15)

-Oswald can bust a door off its hinges (Scud#12) and dodge laser fire (The Drywall and Oswald Show #1)

-Can scale to Edward who not only effortsley tore through metal but also survived this spaceship crash (Scud#11)

-For some reason some demon dog that gets one shotted by a cannonball can create storms (The Drywall and Oswald Show #2) 

-Scud models usually improve in terms of power with each new line (as we can assume given Scud Sol’s whole gimmick) which means Scud could upscale from a actual missile (Scud#12), and a Series 23 Scud was able to pilot a space cruiser from Earth to Lantis (TFVM#4) (36,820-73,640c)

-Should also note that Scud unit also was able to massacre these weird pig aliens called Maglophytes who were able to spot and lock onto targets while piloting these same ships most likely going at these same speeds (TFVM#4)

-Drywall has dodged lasers (Scud#7), survived ship crashes (1) (2) (The Drywall and Oswald Show #1), the same space drop as Scud but while on the receiving end of a 1000 pound weight (Scud Sega Saturn), tossed an atom bomb into space (Scud Sega Saturn) and should also have a 12 mile by 24 mile spatial dimension inside them like their older sibling Mess (Drywall: Unzipped!), though the manual for the Sega Saturn game claims its a whole universe (See: Before the Verdict)

Uzi Doorman

-Doll reacted to minigun fire (MDE3)

-V catches a bullet (MDE6) and redirected a missile (MDE8)
-J survived being kicked so hard into a chunk of land that it titled (MDE8)

-N crushed a robot skull in one hand (MDE1), kicked a robot so hard into the ground it fragmented (MDE1), tossed Uzi above the clouds (MDE4), broke through (given this room’s location in the castle) multiple ceilings (Mario Reacts To AI Generated Images), survived having a table thrown at him (MDE3), his head getting pushed against the ground so hard it severely cracked (MDE7), a missile exploding (MDE1), shielded Uzi against her railgun exploding (MDE2), can shoot arrows fast enough to catch flame (MDE4), and intercept this pickaxe while in slowmo (MDE7)

-Not only were basic worker drones are implied to have survived the humanity ending explosion (MDE1), but we see Yeva and Nori being near said explosion (MDE7)

-Cyn dodged a missile, punched a heart shaped hole in the wall (Murder Drones but Wholesome), sent V flying into the sky team rocket style (Murder Drones but Wholesome), tore the planet asunder and crushed a small black hole in her hand (MDE8)

-Some bum ass worker drone dodged a spaceship going from Earth to Copper-9 (MDE3) (17,123c)

-Funny absurdly high into MFTL+ Tetris feat Yeva (MDE7) (See: Before the Verdict)

Feats

Scud

“I’m a cowboy.. I will finish this.”

-Is mankind’s answer to the fucking rapture, yes like the bibical rapture (Scud#20), and ultimately its his actions that save the earth

-Fought in a war for the freedom of all comic creation (Shi/Cyblade: The Battle for Independents)

-Assassinated the leader of a masculinity obsessed group called the Gritties (Scud#2-3) and Nathan Twist and his 5 cronies (Scud#6-8)

-Taken on Ben Franklins’ army of zombie dinosaurs (Scud#4)

-Caused the literal collapse of Markgoodson State pentary and the Gritites (Scud#3)

-Saved the world from Fenris the wolf and his donor arm (Scud#11) 

-Lead a successful rescue mission for a screenwriting robot that could dictate the outcome of a box office based war (Scud#16)

-Freed a village from the evil clutches of the weredragon Skayel via makeshift basketball (Scud#17)

-Won a volleyball game for a bunch of NEERRRRRDDDDDDSSSSS (Scud#19)

-Can quad wield guns (Scud#2)

-Found love and meaning in his life

Uzi Doorman

“I think dumb things are frickin' cool, and I... AM... FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

-Defeated Cyn, saving her own and countless other planets
-Was able to take control over the Absolute Solver

-Managed to make that railgun out of nothing but scraps and whatever else she could find in the wasteland (MDE1) 

-Stopped J & V from massacring the entirety of Outpost 3 (MDE1), even stopped J’s second attempt at doing that (MDE2)

-Won the respect of her father, and also won enough respect for herself to know his respect isn’t all that valuable (MDE8)

-Saved N’s memories from being erased (MDE5)

-Saved the school prom (MDE3)

-Pirated so much anime she learned acrobatics from it (MDE1)

-Got me to get off my lazy ass make three (3) gifs for a blog

-Found love and self acceptance in her life

Hax, Abilities, and Techniques

Scud

Scud unit specs

-Slow regeneration that can patch up small wounds (Scud#3) and bigger wounds like a hole in the chest, though wounds of that nature seemingly takes days to heal (Scud#6)

-Has a wire in one of his fingers for strangling people (Scud#2), his fingers in general seem to be able to be screwed off (Scud#5)

-A disc reader for reading disc and circular plugs (Scud#16), the information on the disc being transmitted to Scud’s “brain” so to speak (Scud#1) (Scud#6), said “brain” is seemingly being large as he was able to intake the knowledge of a whole world’s state of war, trade agreements, war missions, and movies (all of these are very connected btw) (Scud#16). Though on that note larger bulks of information do take longer for him to take in (Scud#16). This was once used to make Scud experience being high (Scud#19)

-He can hide/hold guns in his body (Scud#1)

-Level of pure contempt can be adjusted on a 1 to 10 scale (Scud#2), though has hidden 11-15 settings that can only be accessed through medaling (Scud#2)

-Self preservation: Scud units are programmed with crazy amounts of self preservation (Scud#3) (this is also outlined in the Scud law of robotics from Scud #11), this will make Scud fight even when he himself doesn’t want to (Scud#9) 

-Water proof (Scud#1) (Scud#13)

-Flame resistant (Scud#4) (Scud#17)

-Pretty heat resistant in general being able to play lava hockey (Scud#12)

-Seemingly unaffected from long surged of electricity like that from taser guns (1) (2) (3) Scud#8)

-Unaffected from acidic shit that effortlessly tore through the very battle gear he was wearing (Scud#16)

-Pop culture database(?): Bro popped out of the proverbial womb referencing Die Hard I know full on well he did not have the damn time to watch that

Scud stat sheet

Inside Scud#17 is a nifty little D&D character stat sheet for Scud, and while probably not meant to be taken seriously I’d thought it be fun to include anyhow

-Exactly what it means is lost on me and this blog has become way more of a “thingamajig” then I expected and I am realizing I just aint smart enough to grasp D&D
-At least we know Scud is taller than you, 3’2” shorty lmaooooooooooooooooooooooo

Misc

-4th wall awareness: Talks to the audience in Scud #21’s recap page and messed up a guy’s hair with bullets for not wanting to buy Scud: Industrial Revolution 

-Resistance to fate manipulation(?): Voodoo Ben Franklin (A master of the dark arts like voodoo (and also Ben Franklin)) stated that due to Scud not having a soul meant he is unbounded by fate (Scud#14). I assume this means that if someone were to try to alter Scud’s fate then they would be screwed because there’s nothing to manipulate. Though manipulating fate in general to screw over Scud is still an option I suppose.

-Resistance to transmutation(?): So in Scud #11 the black hole werewolf incident is kicked off by the werewolf going on this speech about evolution, then he “de-evolves” himself into what seems to be nothingness, then it's revealed he actually “de-evovled” to a black hole (or “chaos” as Scud calls it), and its later also revealed that Scud’s arm (which the wolf had on him during all of this) was not changed once so ever and was just chilling in the black hole (Yes, this is why Scud scales to the black hole). Anyhow some may argue that due to this being from devolution it's actually resisting biological manipulation, but I lean more to transmutation because this was via weird power from the moon and also due to life not having evolved from something that predates it

Uzi Doorman

Drone worker specs

-Her face can act as an alarm clock (MDE1)

-She can alter her “Edge levels” (MDE1)

-Display text (MDE6) (MDE8), other drones using it to display gifs/images (MDE6) (MDE8)

-Can sweat (MDE2)

-Can survive in the vacuum of space (MDE8)

-Heat resistant: Withstood effects similar to that of atmospheric reentry (MDE8), and her classmate Braidon sometimes just has his head on fire and pays no mind to it

-Near the end of the series Uzi is unaffected by a hacking attempt from Cyn through the absolute solver program (See: right bellow this blurb), implying general immunity to hacking (MDE8)

-Translator(?): Well, like, how else does she instantly understand and respond to whatever Doll says in Russian yeah?

Absolute Solver

Out of all things to inherit from your mother, antichrist.exe gotta be one of the worst things to inherit yeah? Well at least it grants her awesome abilities so it beats out being predisposed for cancer 

-Regeneration: Has shown the ability to fix cracks (MDE4) and regrow lost body parts rather quickly (MDE4) (MDE6), even being able to heal after having her core ripped out (MDE8), with other drones with similar regen showing being able to regrow destroyed heads within seconds, though in doing so the droid temporarily forgets the past three hours (MDE1). Should note that there is a limit to this regen has when J had their top half destroyed they couldn’t regenerate from that alone (MDE2), though there is another type of regen when this happens that’s essentially a backup plan of regen. What does that entail? Well it evolves the drone becoming some sort of gross monster that eats other drones to gain the material needed to regenerate their body, however if the drone’s core is destroyed then that's it, they’re dead (MDE2)

-Transmutation: can turn inanimate objects into living things/messes (MDE4)

-Telekinesis: Uzi can move around objects with little problem (MDE4) (MDE8), destroy and rebuild objects like doors (MDE4) (fixing even more complicated things like robo roaches (MDE4)), and once in a violent craze used it to pop a drone’s head off (MDE4). Other Absolute Solvers have shown they can go way farther using it to both to crush and splatter fellow drones (MDE3)

-Teleportation: Uzi can teleport (MDE7), yeah, be forewarned however as if you teleport somewhere and an object is already occupying that space, you’ll get screwed over not the object (MDE8)

-Null/Black hole creation (MDE8), even being able to make teeny tiny null/black holes that instantly implode leaving large holes in walls (MDE6), spam temporary nulls/black holes, or buzzsaws because why not? (MDE8) Should note the nulls/black holes will disappear if the hand that created them is damaged (MDE8)

-Put out fires (what) (MDE4)

-Iconic eye symbol that shatters glass (MDE1) (MDE3) (MDE4)

This is where I start listing things that while Uzi herself never did do, other Absolute Solvers have done, and given the series ends with Uzi consuming Cyn (Absolute Solver supreme basically) I’ll assume Uzi could perform these same moves.
-Illusions/Holograms: Absolute Solvers can create illusions (out of/with themselves or their surroundings) to trick opponents mid combat (MDE8), these can get pretty elaborate like when they illusioned/hologramed an entire crime scene investigation and the very coffee the person they were tricking was drinking (MDE2). They can even fill their opponents head with false visions of the future (MDE7)

-Technology manipulation: Absolute Solvers have shown able to control technology to make things from turning off the lights happen (MDE5) to making fellow droids stop in place happen (MDE3)

-Raise Shields (MDE3) 

-Can seemingly freeze objects in place (MDE3)
-Duplicate objects (MDE3)

-Can make other drones experience the user’s memories (MDE3), and even delete other drones’ own memories (MDE5). Though the latter takes considerable time to come to fruition and possibly relies on the drone/robot in question having the absolute solver glitch in them like..

-...Hacking(?): This is a weird case because it seems that the absolute solver is akin to a glitch within drone’s coding, and Cyn was able to use that fact to take control over drones in episode 5, however it is unclear if this could expand to drones/robots who do not have that glitch in their programming as patching the glitch completely curbed all influence of the Absolute Solver (MDE7)

Crow plushie form

-Is just that sometimes in the non canon ads, I am starting to realize i seriously need to reconsider my over prioritization of comedy 

Misc

-4th wall awareness: Talks to the audience in “Uzi & Pomni Are Forced To Run The Marketing Department”, is aware of ads in “Murder Drones keychains when no one is watching”, and the Glitch website claims she’s right behind you, right now.

-Can move around and talk after being turned into a figurine (N wakes up as a Marketable Figurine)

-Power of God and Anime: And it just makes an explosion (GlitchX 2024)? Originally I was going to do a bit where I go “that’s it?” and link to the Bible power scaling reddit community but I can't find their page anymore, I think it got deleted, fuck man

Weaknesses 

Scud

-Lasers cut through him like a hot knife through butter (Scud#3)

-Can not withstand the vacuum of space (Scud#11)

-Possibly one of the least stealthy assassins ever, like loud gunshots and bloody spectacles follow this brightly colored robot everywhere he goes, can not be entrusted to sneak around if his life depended on it

-Indie comics that started in the early 90s originally written out of heartbreak, simply put some of this shit just has not aged well at all bro
-He can’t play soccer (Scud#17)

Uzi Doorman

-As apart of her “absolute solver awakening” she can no longer be exposed to direct sunlight without dying (MDE4)

-Anxiety can induced high temperatures which may lead to overheating (MDE4)

-Magnets greatly reduces her ability to use absolute solver (MDE6), enough magnets can make it completely able to be overcame by little force (MDE6), though the regen still works (MDE6)

-Absolute Solver can not directly harm other Absolute Solvers (MDE3) (How will this affect Uzi’s chances of winning against the non-absolute solver Scud?)
-On that note Uzi is notably way less experienced in the ways of the Absolute Solver than her peers like Doll and Cyn

-darkXwolf17 is a shit ass username idfc if she was 8 years old (MDE5)

-Had perhaps the most botched and pathetic attempt at a bank robbery I’ve ever seen (GlitchX 2023)

Before the Verdict

Scud’s Wack Scaling Circle

-So, does this mean we can get a 4x multiplier on that black hole feat?

-No, it means I got some explaining to do on how I’m handling this

-Okay so I’m only going to apply the 4x times multiplier to Scud’s best strength feat/scaling (from the comics, so no Uni stuff) that isn’t him denting other Scud units

-That feat of him denting other Scud units is the feat that’ll get the black hole stuff be taken into consideration
-Now why am I making this distinction? Because it'd be pretty weird to have scaling multipliers hinging on the idea that Scud is actually stronger than a Scud unit designed to be stronger than him so its just best to treat them as separate and not a set up for a multiplier yk?
“Bob I think the image’s grammar is messed up”
-Yeah I noticed too but its far too late to change it lol

Universal Scud?

-Okay so, Drywall in the sega saturn game’s manual is just flat out stated to have a universe inside of him, and Scud should scale to him

-Issue? Nothing really, sure it's from a sega saturn game with a scuffed retelling of Scud’s story up till around #10-11 so if you’re in a vs debate about Canon Scud this feat wouldn’t be used but also this is a vs blog where the media list for the other character includes a gmod Mario cross Squid Games machinima because said character’s boyfriend appears near the start and doesn’t show up after that this is clearly not a Canon only debate

-So fuck it Scud’s universal, sue me
(This will be the last time this blog refers to Scud as universal) 

One more thing about Scud Industrial Evolution

-Now while I couldn’t find any complete gameplay some may note that the game’s full manual is online and notes pretty some wacky weapons (like a turtle grenade that slows down enemies) so why wasn’t it included
-Well simply put in spite of what the advertising and manual would want you to believe this isn’t our Scud, it's a different one as detailed in the game’s starting text, and also while hard to notice due to compression you can make out that in the intro cutscene that the Scud unit in it has a different number than our Scud (and thus the one this blog is analyzing)
-And given the starting also implies that the weapons were provided for this Scud unit specifically its unlikely our Scud has access to these weapons

-That’s all I have to say on that

What the hell is Uzi anymore?

-Okay so in the epilogue of Murder Drones episode 8 we learn that Uzi’s tail now houses a consciousness, most likely due to Uzi eating Cyn’s core, so what would this tail entail?

-I have no solid clue gonna be honest with y’all dual core welders aren’t really a common occurrence, hell even here its Uzi’s body and then a tail that now has a mind of its own

-The tail’s core most likely couldn’t take over in case of Uzi’s own core dying out given in the finale we see that without a core the solver is physically a black hole, and most likely was able to take refuge in Cyn’s core thanks to total domination over her programing, which is certainly ain’t the case with Uzi. And given we don’t have any idea if anything outside of cores can act as cores and said black hole having to hide itself inside a core leads me to believe that without a core to take over the solver can’t reanimate Uzi’s body if her core were to be destroyed

-MY question is what did they mean by that whole “Uzi briefly flickers like a hologram” thing at the very end

-Like what does that mean, did Uzi actually win, what the hell, we see her interact with cards and N in the credits unlike a typical hologram though that reveal is after so maybe something is up???? Is it a hook for a season 2? I have no clue, so for now I’ll ignore that 

MFTL+ Tetris Gameplay for Murder Drones?

-Okay so as I linked to before there's a millions c tetris calc for Murder Drones, now you’re first thought is that it’s an outlier thus why its in contention
-Nah, I’m very lenient with feats in that regard and my definition of “outlier” is probably boarding on a misuse of the word given its more so about the context surrounding a feat and the series than it being a singular occurrence, and I’m a big fan of dumb stupid feats that  get dumb stupidly big numbers so what's my problem?
-The analysis of which must be done with the feat to get the number doesn’t really work when you analyze it
-Quick imgur resource for the spill I’m about to go on about
-Okay so as seen in Point A a singular line gave Yeva over a billion points
-In point B Yeva is fumbling around with block pieces and randomly gets little under 600 billion points
-And most damning of all she ends the run with only 2072 lines actually made, for reference the tetris record most people use for comparison in calcing this needed 278 (going by NES Tetris 10 lines equals a level rule and said run getting to level 235) more lines for one-quintillionth of the score

-And on that note Yeva somehow only stayed on level 2 when comparison run used was on level 235, which most likely means this version of tetris is playing on different rules than NES tetris
-Now there are two possible explanations for these
1) The game just gives out higher amount of points per line clear than NES tetris
-This would instantly invalidate the calc for the feat and make it impossible to calc as there aren't many well known versions of tetris handing out billions of points per line clear

2) The game just couldn’t keep up with the amount of points she was earning

-This also invalidates the calc and makes it impossible to calc because its all based on that score and if we can’t trust it we’re boned 

3) The game just couldn’t keep up with the amount of lines she was clearing

-This seems like the most likely answer that also keeps the calc valid, however it's here where we face the largest hurdle this calc just can’t jump over
-Yeva is running Tetris on Yeva
-If Yeva is moving the tetris pieces too fast for Yeva to keep up with how many lines she has or to make the screen keep up then wouldn’t that just invalidate the feat all together?
-This is a very funny feat to calc but it is ultimately calculating a joke that when actually scrutinized leads to a whole bunch of questions to where “Has Yeva been gaming since she was a robo-toddler?” comes into play and like… I’m tired man, I ain’t got no time to break this feat down to the molecular level in hopes to justify it when the most easiest, honest, and “serious” conclusion is that it's a bit that can’t be truly calced

“You’re a fucking nerd you know that?”
-I have nothing to say to that that disproves it and/or saves face

Robo Theology

Versus can lead to very interesting debates if you just roll with it

-Okay so the damnation gun doesn’t work on Scud because “there’s no after life for robots” now is this because robots in Scud don’t have no soul? Most likely, however it is never stated.

-Well okay before I can get into a spill I should note that in TFVM #3 we do just see a Scud unit die and go to hell. Though this wasn’t written by Rob Schrab so that probably explains the inconsistency 

-Now that's Scud’s world stance on robotic afterworld, so how about Murder Drones? I mean they’re robots also, they probably have no afterlife right?
-This is where we learn that jokes can actually be very useful for world building

-Mentions of a robo-Satan (MDE3), robo-God (MDE4), and a robo-Jesus (MDE1), the patch that would defeat the “robo-Satan” is a crucifix shaped usb drive (MDE7). Also while not a major piece of evidence there is a joke which implies there's an idea of drone ghost (MDE2)

-Most hard hitting evidence however would be within the first episode’s exposition where we see a worker drone try to calculate which deity they should pray to before they die, heavily implying in MD there is not one multiple religions the drones can have faith in (MDE1) 

-Before anyone says it, yes in universe the exposition is a part of a presentation, so is the series itself (MDE8). So I don't see how that would invalidate it
“Okay but do we have direct confirmation that the robot afterlife actually exists?”
-No but we don't have direct de-confirmation of it either, all we have is what has been brought up so far which to me shows that in MD the notion of a robotic afterlife does exist within the robotic community

“Okay but just because they believe in the afterlife doesn’t mean it exist”
-Great going numbnut you’ve essentially sparked a “Is God real?” debate over a Scud vs Uzi blog

“Okay but they don’t have souls, how can there be an afterlife for them?”
-Because the afterlife is life post modem, so as long as they’re living lives I see no reason for there not to possibly be an afterlife for them. So yes for this blog we’ll be assuming there is a Murder Drones afterlife due to the series implying multiple robo-religions and no evidence from the series that said afterlives don't actually exist

-Important note: This isn't a argument for MD cosmology, just an argument for the world of MD having a robo-afterlife

Verdict

Mr. Bob

(Dreamt I haggled a guy at a flea market for a Wii U and I still don’t know what that was about)

Okay so, to get it out of the way, rather or not you give Uzi all those extra videos doesn’t really change the verdict. Why did I decide to still go through with including them? Sunk cost. Anyhow, who wins this round of robo rough housing? Starting it off Scud 100% takes equipment, Uzi’s railgun is an amazing feat of craftiness but it needing half an hour in between shots as compared to Scud’s guns which don’t need to do that puts in her a bad spot considering both of their powerfire best feats are being able to tear through people on a similar level as them, add in war planes, mech suits, magical size altering rings, and a gun to send Uzi straight to hell leads this category to be a clean Scud sweep. However in terms of abilities Uzi takes that cleanly, while Scud’s regeneration could patch up holes in his chest that took him days, maybe even a week, while Uzi’s regen patched up her core being torn out of her stomach within seconds. That's not even considering the Absolute Solver, which while yes its hacking capabilities will most likely not work on someone as robo sentient as Scud due to him not having the Absolute Solver virus and it’s transmutation being able to work on living things is questionable, let alone Scud’s arguable resistance to transmutation, but those two aren’t Uzi’s to go options by a longshot, it was her telekinesis that she would most likely go for first, something Scud hasn’t dealt with (in fact closest would be when he had to face someone who had a voodoo doll of him and he proceeded to get mopped), and what was a major game changer. Being able to freeze objects, toss them away, or outright break them would nullify Scud’s equipment advantage. As well as it being able to decapitate or crush Scud, being able to end the fight from afar. BUT it'd be the next two categories that makes Uzi being the winner less than likely, for one stats. Simply put Scud’s black hole feat was 1 terafoe while Uzi’s was only 41 megafoe, for reference that 1 terafoe is worth 1000 megafoe, making Scud slightly more than 24 times stronger than Uzi, and with their space ship scaling, Scud’s speeds get around 2 to 4 times faster than Uzi’s depending on which end you want to use. Now that may not seem like enough, but combine that with the next category of experience and skill and the whole picture comes together. In terms of experience Uzi didn’t really have much experience with using the absolute solver to its full potential, her most potent usages being when under the control of someone else like Cyn or when she became uncharacteristically bloodthirsty at camp and decapitated a classmate with it, don’t get me wrong she is experienced in creating those Null black holes but as discussed earlier those don’t quite got the power to put Scud down like the types of telekinesis Uzi’s capable of but never willingly use. Furthermore in terms of general experience while Uzi has certainly dealt with her fairshare or foes, lets not forget she has 1v1’d the harbinger of doom, but so has Scud, who also went on to fight angels, deal with dragons, fight a master of the dark arts, fought another harbinger of doom in the form of a werewolf, and more. Scud by far had more experience. In terms of skill Uzi is a capable fighter for sure, but she still has the body of a drone meant to handle heavy equipment and not much else, Scud was built and designed with the idea he’d be sent after people with the sole purpose to kill them. His self preservation system actually is what scores him this win really, Uzi’s win condition needed Scud not to use his equipment and stat advantage to beat her out the gate before she allows herself to tap into the absolute solver’s more violent usage of telekinesis, but Scud is designed to do just that, go all in on whoever it deems a threat and eliminate them with extreme prejudice. This battle in a sense would be decided the moment it begins really. I’m all for drone-ing on some more, but I feel I’ve said enough and it’s time to scud-dle away

The Winner is Scud

Overall:

Scud:

+ Takes stats handily

+ More experienced and skilled

+ Better arsenal

+ Self preservation allowed him to take full advantage of his- well -advantages 

= Intelligence 

- Worse set of abilities

- Kind of beyond screwed if Uzi does use her telekinesis on him

Uzi:

+ Absolute Solver can 100% screw over Scud
+ Way better regeneration and better set of abilities in general
+ You probably knew her before clicking on this blog and not Scud (Scud:TDA is a fun time imo I recommend it)
= Intelligence

- Weaker and slower
- Worse arsenal

- Less skilled and experienced 

Feel free to tell me how wrong I am in the comments and see y’all next time (whenever that’ll be)